heart broken

Today's mood :(
I dont know why , but I'm feeling I'm kinda left out.

I talk , nobody is there to listen
I play , nobody will teman me
I cries , nobody will knows
I smile , nobody will knows that it was fake

yea , my mood swing easily.
If you know how to treat me well , I'll be very happy.
but if you don't , sorry , you'll see me emo every second.
everything I did , nobody will see it.
i've try my best , but i get nothing , even a word.
i kinda hate that feeling , you know when you get like good result , and your parents didnt praise you or like , ' next time you'll be better ' , NO ! won't happen in my life.
but , when my sisters get like good result , they will praise them , buy them wadever they want.
I WON'T HAVE A THING I WANT , EVEN A SHIT.
fine , i won't mind this , i'm just jealous they have parent's love.

but , you also can't treat me like your maid right ?
do this do that , sometime i really tired , call you to help , wad i get ? scold from you.
but , if my sisters dont wanna do wad you told them to do , you treat them like your princess.
wad is wrong with you guys ? i'm your daughter also kay.

ISOKAY !
you know wad is the feeling when a knife stabbing to your heart millions of times ?
isn't that hurt ? can you even think about it ?

seeing your loves one ignores you

tears are coming down , i can't control it , but
this is wad i do everyday. :'(

Nerds ,
Rachael

Valentine's Day is coming

Long time no update blog. :p
YAY ! Changed the background. heh ! NERDS <3
So yeah , valentine is coming. :O
as usual #foreveralone
AND , that's awkward , you know why ?
because valentine's day is on week days ,
is like got school weih. -.-
you'll be like , seeing boys giving flowers , chocolate and stuff to girls.
the most most most awkward is ,
all your friends have their own partners and you memang #foreveralone

I wish to have you back , seriously :)

Nerds ,
Rachael ;)

ANNOYING GORILLA

HEY PEEPS. :D
long time no see me. :p

nowadays , there is a big gorilla annoying me .
ehh , can you see yourself in the mirror ? i know you're pretty , but you're just too guo fen okay ?
she treat you like her best friend , but wad did you do ? go tell the whole world to hate her ? WTH !
i trusted you , and you did this to us. #fck you
wad if i did this to you ? wad you feel ? people have their own best friend , why you wanted to separate them so badly ? yeaaa , wad if i separated all your best friends ? USE YOUR BRAIN !
dude , you seriously pissed me off weih.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE KAY ?
dont try to act like you're good with her , and talk bad about her behind.
this is seriously not good. -.-
if you going to be continue to treat her like this , fineee.
WE ARE DONE ! no more friends.

you know wad you've done.
dont act pity and bet me , wad you've done is seriously disappointed me.
i dont have a friend like you , bitch.
dont let me see you acting like you're good to her again and talk bad about her , if not , i slap you kao kao likeaboss.
trust me , i will.

watch out bitch. o0o

UPDATE-ED ! :D

HAH !
Finally , I UPDATE my so called ' half dead blog ' (:
eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr ,

So , how's life going on ? huh ? (:
I had broke up for 2 months and 14 days.
and I have rejected more than 5 people.
Im not LC or wad.
I just want you to know that I wont simply go and accept people. (:
and also wont so easy to fall in love or let go.

you see me laughing everyday ,
but actually
i still stuck in somewhere.
i still haven go through with it.
i still scare to have another relationship.

you can say this is so fake but is real.
do you know i cry everyday ?
do you know everyday i dreamed the same nightmare ?
do you know you hurt me ?
do you know i loved you ?
i bet you dont know a shit. am i right ?

do you ever loved me ?
do you ever care about me ?
do you ever cry for me ?
everyday i think the same question again and again.
but i will never know the truth. :/

two is better than one ?

or one is better than two ?

HEEHEES. (:
dont talk about it ald.
i promise before piggy to
S.M.I.L.E.
i wont let him dissapointed on me. (:

cause ilovehim. (:

WHY ?

Why there must be 18 above just can couple ?
Why GOD made us to be like this ?
Why can't you all just let us to couple ?
Why you can't believe us ?
Why B.B don't let us to couple ?
is that making you all in trouble ?

Why there is so many rules ?
Aren't you all couple in these age ?

I NEED ANSWER NOW !

Why don't you all just let us couple ?
is that hard ?
WHY ?

We two now is struggling.
We don't know wad to do now.
We are facing a very big trouble now.
if you all just let us couple , there is no trouble at all.
We know how to control our self .
We know how , and
We love each other so much.
Why you wanna separate us ?

don't you know that's sad ?
is that funny ?
LOVE is not a game , dude.
if you think that's a game go a head.
nobody will wants you !
LOVE is a part of our life ,
we need it very much.
NO LOVE NO LIFE !
do you trust that ?
is real !

i hate that feelings man !
have you ever tried those feelings ?
i guess no !
cause is hurt !
nobody wants to felt those feelings.
i really don't know wad to do know.
getting more hurt !
especially my family ,
they sure not support me to couple.
accept for my sister , rebecca.
i know she support me and she will help me.
but i don't think so my parents will accept this !

i need my family to support me !
but i guess they won't support me.
cause they don't let me to couple.
now i really don't know how.
who can teach me ? guide me ?
i really betahan those feelings.
is sucks !

today is the last day together with him ,
i guess.
is really hurts man.
tears keep dropping now.
don't know how to face everyone now.
i scare , i really very scare !
or maybe today also can't be with him anymore.

Signing off ,
Rachael.

Heart totally broken.

Now I really totally heart broken !
yesterday AARON.C and CARSON NG
they two said something that is not real to Patrick ,
and Patrick trusted them.

and when we chat on facebook ,
you guess wadd ?
I kena scold from Patrick ,
he keep on scolding me ,
and I cried.
I keep on apologize to him too.

I don't know outsiders will think like that
I don't know my attitude will make everyone think like that.
and I tot he will trust me ,
but then
I get back wadd ?
I get back scolding by him.
and he don't even trust me.
wad can I do now ?

My heart really very pain !
question keep on repeating on my mind ,
why you couldn't trust me ?
why you will think like that ?
why you trust them but not me ?
am I important to you ?
because of them you scolded me ,
you didn't even want to know the truth !

I trying to forgive you ,
but then ,
you don't want to !

VBS !

This week is VBS week. :D
I had alot lots of fun there ,
but then too bad i'm not same class with them. D:
course 12 and 13 one class , 14 and 15 one class. :(
I'm in the same class with those bitch. D:
UNLUCKY !

and and , HE can't come to VBS D:
miss HIM so so much. :(

I was thinking about you , thinking about me ,
thinking us , just can't stop thinking about YOU !

nothing to say about it ald. :)
byee byee. :D

Signing off ,
Sakaii Rachael. (: